After taking a break from blogging, linking, Tweeting, Facebooking, and the like over the holidays, I was excited to start the New Year and get back to it.
I guess I enjoy this more than I realized, but I had forgotten how all-consuming it can be and how difficult it is to juggle all the different roles I try to fulfill on a daily basis.
Over time, I’ve learned I need to be picky and choosy with how I spend my time. Cleaning? It only needs to be done once a week. Laundry? It isn’t a priority until I run out of yoga pants. Email from my bitchy friend who neglected to call until my child was 4 months old? Send straight to my trash folder.
All that matters are the 3 people that reside within these 4 walls.
But I still feel guilty a lot of the time. The place isn’t as clean as it once was, I’m a horrible cook, I wish I had more time to interact on Twitter and read more blogs, and I’m sick to the teeth of that friend of mine saying how busy I must be with my blog in that condescending voice of hers.
Bitch.
Last week, when I was lamenting how tired I was, The Hubs really surprised me and said, “I’m not surprised. Between us and your blog, you work 2 full-time jobs. And you’re awesome at both of them.”
It’s such a shame Aunt Flow was in town or I would’ve put on Tracy Chapman’s “Give Me One Reason” and done a strip tease for him right then and there.
Of course, he said this while reading emails on his phone. But still. He said it.
After I dry-humped his leg while he took a business call, I realized I don’t give The Hubs enough credit. He’s come a long way in the last 2 years in finding ways to woo me.
Here are 5 new and exciting things my husband does to get laid:
1. He does the dishes. After obsessively washing and sanitizing my hands since the onset of flu season, my hands started to spontaneously crack and bleed every time I moved my fingers. So, without any prompting from me, The Hubs has taken it upon himself to do the dinner dishes every night in hopes my hands will heal and he will one day be able to eat his mashed potatoes without seeing streaks of blood in them.
2. He pumps gas. A few months ago, I accidentally admitted I don’t always put premium gas into our car. The Hubs decided he’d take on this task from now on, and I haven’t had to pump gas in at least 3 months. He’s thoughtful like that.
3. He feigns annoyance. On the nights when he has to attend a social function for work, he calls to tell me how much happier he would be if he could cancel and come home. Of course, he never actually cancels, but those phone calls really mean a lot to me.
4. He babysits. After buying our daughter the Vtech Go! Go! Smartwheels Garage and assorted Legos for Christmas, he has a greater capacity to sit and play with her for hours on end on the weekends, giving me a break to do fun things like scrub the toilets and fold the laundry.
5. He reads my mind. On Sunday nights, after I’ve washed our sheets, cleaned our condo from top to bottom, and stocked our fridge, he stops me mid-dinner prep, carefully removes the butcher’s knife from my hand, and says, “baby, you need a break. Let’s order sushi tonight.”
Woooo! Is it hot in here, or is it just me?
How does your husband turn YOU on these days?
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Dani, you are a very lucky woman.
I am. And I know it. Even if it takes my hands spontaneously cracking and bleeding before I get a hand in the kitchen. :) But in all honesty, he’s a good guy.
Dani, you know already that all my husband has to do is talk dirty with his sarcastic mouth and its on, lol!! No seriously, I am with you on so many on your list. Plus, I do agree that sometimes, we do need a break, because through all of it we do take on so very much. Awesome article and can relate to it!! :) Voted as always for you too.
Aw, thanks Janine! You’re too sweet!
Your husband sounds pretty cool.
I used to work with a lady that no longer had to load the dishwasher as she didn’t do it right. I don’t think her feelings were hurt either.
At my Grandfather’s funeral, my Uncle told the story of how my Grandma ironed his shirts incorrectly once shortly after they were married, and he never let her do it again. GENIUS!
Aww, it’s the small things that really make a difference. I always give it up after a good foot rub, Of course I have to shove my feet in my boyfriend’s lap, but still.
HAHAHAHAHA!
*sigh* my hubby needs to read this blog… lmao and that’s all I’m going to say about that…
Send me his email address, and I’ll ensure he gets a copy. :)
He does dishes? Nice. That would do it for me…
Not every night. Only when my hands are so dry and cracked they bleed. These nice things he does take a lot of work on my part. :)
“It isn’t a priority until I run out of yoga pants.” I hate laundry but these are a priority.
Funny how timely your post is. My husband is a lot like yours in that he believes, rightfully so, that helping me with the things I strongly dislike doing improves his chances. It does. So Wednesday night we went to a movie and on the way out he grabbed my hand (He’s not always the big touchy feely type like me). So I asked why at that moment did he grab it and he said, “Because you’re hot.” Well, well, well. Score.
OMG, I would’ve jumped him right then and there!!!
He runs to the grocery store after the kids have gone to bed to pick up the mild I forgot while I sit on the couch and read smut novels… :)
OMG, I think I’m in love with him!!!
Dani, you lucky dog, I’m going to give you a quote from Ron White regarding Aunt Flow’s visit:
They don’t close down Disney World just because Space Mountain is closed.
Email me if you need more…. ;)
OMG, I love this quote!!!! I’m totally using that next time I’m in the mood when she’s in town. :)
I can so relate to your challenges with balance and finding time for everything. It is a major source of guilt for me right now… and “streaks of blood in the mashed potatoes” was hilarious!
It causes me a lot of guilt, too. I just feel like I’m never doing anything 100%, and I worry I short-change my daughter. But I’ve also learned it’s important that I have something that’s just for me, too. It’s so hard to find the right balance though!
He edits my posts. One time, he even laughed. Out loud.
WHAT?! That’s AWESOME! I make mine read mine, too, so I can judge his reaction to see if it’s funny or not. But some nights I feel like he’d rather I pull out his eye teeth. :)
Great Post! Your husband sounds awesome!
He’s a pretty good guy. Such a shame I have to go to such great lengths to get him to help out around the house. :)
He always come home with chocolate and whipped cream. Always. :P
Oh my! Whipped cream?! You dirty girl! ;)
If I ever saw my husband doing the dishes, I’d faint straight away from shock. However, he does cook fairly often and for that, I’m forever grateful b/c I hate cooking more than anything else in the world!
He COOKS?! OMG, your husband wins. Hands down. I hate cooking, and mine doesn’t mind it, yet I cook 7 freaking days a week.
My husband doesn’t do ANY of that stuff. But he sure does his share of complaining about not gettin’ any.
Ha! He does do diapers though, so you are ahead of me on that front. Even when they don’t need changing in the middle of the night. :)
I am pretty lucky. Mine does the dishes after dinner (if I cook he cleans, always). He helps with the laundry. AND…he cleaned the entire house for a month after I had my c-section. Plus, he tells me I’m beautiful. I just got flustered writing this! I may have to get off the computer and jump him! :)
Oh my. He’s quite the catch! Hold onto him!!!! ;)
Oh I love this post! Amazing how our turn-ons evolve over the years, isn’t it. You’re a lucky gal! My husband took over the laundry about a year ago when he realized that I own way more sweatpants than he does and am happy to go through them all.
HE DOES THE LAUNDRY?! OMG, I think I’m in love with him!!!
I love your site (I’m new here), and enjoyed this post, but at the risk of sounding nitpicky…he “babysits”!?!?!? I’m not sure whether this takes too much credit away from him (maybe he “fathers” more than “babysits”) or assumes too little of men (should we really be so grateful and surprised by paternal behavior that we put it in the same category as that of a person we pay to put up with our children?)…but either way, though I agree that it’s swoon-worthy behavior, I wonder about the choice of phrasing.
Congrats on finding a great man!
Thanks for stopping by!
Ha ha ha – that was totally deliberate. The post was initially intended to be a bit snarky, and I was totally jabbing at him about babysitting, but everyone took it another way, so I just went with it. HA!
But he is a good guy. I must give credit where credit’s due. :)
I just found your blog and think it’s hilarious!! After being married almost 20 years (Feb. 20 will be 20 years) and wanting to kill or kick him out several times, I told him he needs to step it up a notch. LOL
He always text me everyday that he loves me and he can’t wait to be with me after work. Now, he starts a load of laundry every couple of weeks. Does the dishes maybe once a week and puts our youngest to bed while I watch stupid reality tv. It’s taken almost 20 years to get to this so I think I will keep him :) Oh, and also always knows when to pour a glass of wine for me before I ask!
I’m so glad you found me, and congrats on 20 years! That’s awesome!
It’s funny the things they do to keep us happy. And it’s sad to see how much our standards shift as we get older. I guess kids do that to you!
Mine offered to do the dishes tonight. It was the highlight of my day.
Nice. Why is my husband so slow on the up take? He might think those things but he doesn’t say them. If every husband would say that to their wives a lot of marriages could be saved. You got a good one my friend.
Yup. I do. Despite the fact that I give him a hard time, he’s a really good guy. :)
There’s a saying here at my frat house: housework is foreplay.
OMG, that’s genius!