One of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done is fall off of a treadmill.
Twice.
It happened when I was 18. It was my first year away from home, and my first time dealing with winter since I was a kid, and I was sooooo homesick.
So I ate.
A lot.
In the span of about 7 months, I put on 30 lbs.
When Spring rolled around that year, on one of my many visits to my Grandparents’ house, my Grandmother came down to greet me and said, “Oh, Dani! You’ve gotten fat!”
I’d never been called that in my life.
So I joined a gym.
My intention was to stick with things I was familiar with, like Step Reebok classes (remember those?!), but I was given a one-month complimentary pass to use the weight and exercise machines.
I figured I had to at least TRY some of the equipment out, and figured I’d go for a run.
Now, I’ve never really had the stamina to run long distances, but everyone made it look so easy.
So I started out with a brisk walk, and gradually increased the speed until I was jogging.
As I looked around, I actually felt like I fit in.
It was glorious.
But within 2 minutes, that feeling came to a screeching halt.
I was having a hard time breathing, and my attempts to reduce the speed of that damn machine weren’t working, so I eventually just gave up.
Yes, that’s right. I just stopped running.
And, drama queen that I am, I threw my arms up over my head at the exact moment that my whole body was pushed backwards and smacked into the wall behind me.
Everyone went silent and turned to stare at me.
Now, a normal person would’ve laughed it off, grabbed her things, and headed for the shower.
But I’m no quitter.
Nope, I decided to get back on that treadmill and show everyone a little fall wasn’t going to bring me down.
It took a few minutes to psych myself up to do it, but eventually I took a deep breath, put one foot on the treadmill, and then the other foot, and (literally) attempted to hit the ground running.
But the damn thing flung me off.
Imagine my embarrassment when the woman next to me reached over and pressed the red STOP button.
How had I missed that sucker?
And where the hell was she the FIRST time I fell off?
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First off Dani, thank you for linking up to us. Second, I knew I loved you and seriously I am a klutz from way back and would have probably done this, too. Lord knows how many time I have fallen. The other night, I practically fell down our steps yet again. Seriously not sure when I will stop doing that one (probably never). Great story and you are awesome!!! :) :)
Hey Janine – I just stole Dani’s idea of repurposing and rewriting a bit of an old post to share on your blog hop, I hope that’s okay!
Thanks for hosting the link-up, Janine! I’m glad I made you laugh!
OMG that was hilarious! I thought for sure the two times you fell off would have been on different visits to the gym! And I love that woman who stopped it for you – where was she the first time??
Right?! Where was that bitch the first time??
Glad I made you laugh!
LOL! Leave it to grandparents to tell you how it is. I’ve imagined myself doing this a number of times, but it hasn’t happened yet. I did, however, fall down two steps at a night club once when I was on the verge of drunk. Went in the bathroom, cleaned myself up, came back out, like the prom queen I was, and fell down the same two steps again. I just moved on and pretended like it didn’t happen. Thanks for linking up!
Ahhhh, that is SO something I would do, too. :)
I love you for getting back on the treadmill a second time. And even more for not getting up on it a third.
OMG, this comment made me die with laughter. Thank you for that! xo
Hee hee… I can totally see myself doing that. I am a graceless disaster. Glad you linked that up with the FTSF today!
It’s an awesome link-up! Sadly, I haven’t had time to read the other entries yet, but I will!!!
Oh my god, I’m dying! You brave soul! I am always so self conscious at the gym. It takes me a while to figure out no one is looking at me anyway!
The problem is, I also sweat like a man at the gym, so I’m already a hot, sweaty mess to begin with. I can assure you, no one is looking at me at the gym either!
So sounds like something that would happen to me! And good for you for getting back up! You know all the pro gymmers just rolled their eyes and thought “newbie!!”
They totally did! But why didn’t anyone tell me about the stop button the FIRST time?!
I give you a lot of credit for getting back on that horse so to speak…I hate treadmills because I’m so afraid of something like that happening. I’ve been on one exactly once and was terrified the whole time…I’ll stick with you in the step classes.
I was at that age where I still cared how cool I looked. Little did I know that sometimes it’s cooler to just walk away!!!
“I just stopped running” – BWAHAHAHA!!! I also thought that second time was going to be on another visit to the gym, not immediately after the first fall. You poor thing. I feel bad for you but also sorry I didn’t get to see this in person. Is that mean?
Hee hee hee. Nope, not mean at all. I sort of wish iPhones existed back then as I’m sure if someone was filming it, it would’ve gone viral!
My sister did that while at my house on time. She was talking on her phone and messing with my treadmill and accidentally turned it on… True story.
Muahahahaha. Glad someone else has done it! But at least she has the excuse that she was distracted. :(
Hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. I needed that tonight.
Glad I made you laugh!!! Thanks for reading!
Bahahahahahaah! Tried the treadmill thing…once. That was enough. I decided to take my happy ass outside and take my chances with the wildlife. :)
I am amazed at how many people are as scared of treadmills as I am!
Oh man – you sound like me, Dani. I had a lady actually stand next to my treadmill at the gym and demand I attach that little clip on a string to my shirt. Like that’s going to prevent me from flying off the thing. Don’t those things just mercilessly drag you along? Hilarious post!
Ha! When I go on them now, I hold onto the sides (or the front) for dear life. I’m pretty sure a little string attached to your shirt won’t help on the occasions when she just stop running!
This is EXACTLY why I never go to the gym. Well, this and the fact that I hate public exercise. Great post!
Thanks! I haven’t been to a gym in years either. It’s just so boring, and who has the time?!
I am still catching up on FTSF and I intend to read them all because laughter is good for the soul. Your post did not disappoint. Loved it! I hope to see you again!
Thanks for stopping by! I’m glad I made you laugh!
My favorite klutz story EVER! I think it’s because I’ve heard my husband tell a similar story like twenty times and it still makes me laugh so hard I cry. Too funny.
Ha! I repurposed it for a link-up on Friday and thought you’d enjoy re-reading it!
I can see you now. In fact, I think I saw you the other day at the gym I go to. Silly newbies.
Bahahahahaha! Yup, that was ME!!!!!